Monday, April 27, 2009

Me? Popular? Puh-lease.....

It was just another ordinary day like any other. I reluctantly dragged my butt out of bed and got ready for my morning rituals to start off the day.

It, being a Sunday was reason enough for me to enjoy a good, morning bath and a hearty breakfast while I worried about my upcoming trip to the U.S and how to further beat the living crap out of that video game boss I've been losing to for the umpteenth time.

There were several more newspapers laid out on the table than there usually were. Well, that was because my family would only buy the Borneo Post and the News Straits Time. However, there were even Malay papers to be found in the pile. Thinking nothing of it, I just picked up the newspapers on the top of the pile.

After leafing through several pages of the Borneo Post whilst eating my breakfast, I came upon this article:


Holeee pink cupcakes!!

I'm on a newspaper article? As in, a NEWSPAPER ARTICLE?

No. Friggin'. Way.

Normally, one would be jumping around the house, butt-naked out of sheer happiness, but not me though. I'm way too cool for that kinda stuff.

Instead, I was busy trying to dislodge that piece of bread I choked on earlier out of surprise.

Several Heimlich maneuvers later, I've finally calmed myself down enough to read the entire article. Oh, that's right, I was interviewed by a reporter the day before. No wonder I ended up being in the newspaper.

After that, I randomly browsed through several other papers out of boredom and to kill time before chancing upon this next article in the Utusan Malaysia:


They had to rush me to the hospital that morning because I accidentally swallowed and choked on a butter knife.

Ah, woe is me.

(I appeared in several other newspapers too like the Eastern Times and a mandarin newspaper which I couldn't be bothered to put up a picture here. Why? Since when was I the eldest GIRL in the family? And secondly, them chinese characters look like gibberish to a banana like me. XD)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Hypocrisy, anyone?

Ehem.

Referring to my previous post, one can tell that I absolutely loathe Facebook with the rage of a thousand Greek gods.

But people are noticing a certain Nathaniel Sia on Facebook. Surely it cannot be an impostor impersonating dear old me.

So, the question begs to be asked. "Why Nat? Why do you hate Facebook so and then sign up to it? Doesn't that contradict every living fibre in your body and ultimately, your existence?" (whoops. Too much science fictiony novels for me)

I answer, "You know hypocrisy? It's in the dictionary under the letter 'h'. Read the meaning of the word. Alright, done?"

Dramatic pause. VERY dramatic.

Then, I would continue on, "I coined the friggin' term. I am the living epitome of that very word. There ain't no hypocrisy if I ain't in it! How's that sound to ya all, eh?"

Booya.

*If I sounded ghetto in this post, do forgive me. I'm going through an identity crisis right now. I can't tell if I'd rather be black or white. Or both. XD XD

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Randomness. And Facebook

WARNING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

It was a pretty day and all; a normal day just like any other. Birds were chirping in their happy homes above in the trees, stray rays of sunlight sneaked past the cloudy skies whenever they could and here I was, stuck in the domains of my home.

A rather peculiar urge took hold of me and thus, I wandered off for a casual stroll in the nearby park.

A very unorthodox thing to do, I must say for I have not been to the park in ages. Perhaps, the overwhelming need to go outdoors rather than heed the demands of the computer finally gotten the better of me.

And so, I walked the steps that circle the park, once, twice and finally thrice.

Upon my fourth lap around, I was confronted by this good friend of mine who I've not met in the longest of times.

As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. In this case of mine, indeed it did for I longed to hear about the life he led ever since our last meeting.

Before long, he tattled and rattled all about his exploits spanning the globe and finally the subject came to rest before Facebook.

"Do you use Facebook too, Nat? Hey, perhaps we can keep in touch with one another!" he said.

Silence.

Caught up in the moment, I PULLED MY F**KING SHOTGUN OUT OF MY @SS AND BLEW A KA-F**KING LOAD RIGHT IN HIS F**KING FACE.

EJECTED THE SPENT SHELL, THEN BLUDGEONED THE POOR *@%^&!%^&@%#^& TO DEATH WITH THE BUTT OF MAHH F**KING BOOMSTIX!!!!!

BRAIN MATTER AND BLOOD FLEW EVERYWHERE, SPARKLING THE SKIES BRIGHTER THAN THE 5TH OF JULY IN FRIGGIN AMERICA!!!!



"Quite frankly, I don't" I then replied.

(And no, violent video games don't do this to you. Blame American Idol)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Farewell, Pretty Boy!

Some of you might know this guy:

Watashiwa Bryan Kho desu~~~~

He goes by lots of names, none of them are compliments, but they describe him well enough.

Pretty boy, leng-chai, gay boy....you name it.

He also has some very unique traits, namely:

An obsession over guy's asses.


An unnatural talent to stay beautiful.


An uncanny skill to totally obliterate mouses every single time he watches porn.

It's his 8th mouse to date when he discovered THAT website.

And a several others to name a few.

But, he will sorely be missed as he heads off to the land down under; Australia to hopefully stay out of trouble and not end up on the wrong side of the Australian law.

With every departure of a best friend that you knew and grew up with for so long, it was only likely that we threw a farewell party for him; girls, booze and drug inclusive of course.

And that was exactly what we did last night. A farewell party for Bryan Kho at Chef at Home in Hui Sing garden.


It was a pretty standard guy get-together. Testosterone were flying everywhere, dirty talks littered the once clean, pure air and we guys bonded.


Can't quite remember when I had that much fun talking to the rest of the 3G-ians that were there at the party. It was all good fun and games (by guy standards of course)

Being the best friend I was, I bought him a farewell gift while in KL as though I was the only one who cared about him going away. (Maybe I did XD)

A heavy duty, hopefully BK-proof gaming mouse that can withstand the harshest of his late night porn watching escapades.


Bk being Bk, went like, "Oh my gosh!!! Thankkk yuuuuuu ^.^" in typical weaboo fashion. Typical.

But, all in all, we had a pretty swell night! The food was good, I had a great company of friends to mingle around with and most of all, we get to make fun of Bk!


Man, I sure am going to miss those late night sessions of Left 4 Dead. No, I won't miss you. Only the times when the Hunter has surprise buttsecks with you.


Good times. Good times.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Damai Puri Memoirs Finale (What Really Happened)

So sorry it took so long to put this post up but I've really been busy lately flying off to KL and back for my visa application.

Plus, a slew of new games are out there on the market and gearing up for JPA interviews have really taken much of my free time away. Rawrrrr.....

As promised, here's the last installment to our Damai Puri escapade, told through my ever-so trusted perspective of course.

The final and last day of our trip:


Day 3 kicked off to a rather slow start. Again, those two who wanted to see the sunrise at 5 am which, after sleeping through said time, got up late again.

Unsurprisingly for the umpteenth time, I being the responsible one (honestly, I feel like their dads liaw arr) kicked their lazy asses out of bed and marched them to breakfast.

Luckily, the cafe was SOOO empty compared to yesterday we didn't even have to queue for the food! It was only us and a couple handfuls of foreigners dining in the cafe.

And so we ate to our hearts content, bellies so bloated that we make pregnant ladies look thin and anorexic.

Jeff: Food is like a sexual stimulator. And feeling full is the next best thing to an orgasm.
Bryan: I sooooo totally agree!
Nat:.....................OMGBBQWTF? O.O | | |

Patting our full bellies, the two headed back to the hotel room whilst I decided to do big business in the public restrooms. Think I'm disgusting? How about being considerate 'cuz I didn't want to defile the room with farts. (Jeff eventually did though. The bastard)

With it being our last day here and all, we decided to head on down to the beach after breakfast (in hopes of picking up hot chicks in bikinis) and just bathe in the wonders of mother nature (mother nature made hot bikini chicks for us guys to oogle at, no?)


Sad to say, there were no bikinis abound as every hot swimsuit models in a 5 mile radius returned to Hollywood to film the reunion episode of Baywatch.

Oh well, we had to make do with camwhoring. And how I lurrrveeee camwhoring~~~

Not too sure what gotten into Bk here but, meh......

Soon after, male ego kicked in and testosterone boiled to a frenzy. Eventually, it resulted in this unfortunate photograph. Oh mys, the wonders of the male ego.

If ego were a source of energy, these two would power up the world for centuries

Me, competing for "Idiot of the Year" award

Of course, camwhoring wasn't all just about defying laws of stupidity and inventing new ones. No siree, I say. I did manage to snap some rather nice pics of nature in all its glory.



Love those spirally clouds in the background


We did much frolicking around on the beach and wrote on the sandy beaches our messages of undying love for our girlfriends (Bk's idea, no less) to pass the time, as you can see from the pics below.

Since I belum 'berpunya" lagi, I had to confess my love to myself, right?

The sun came out from under the blankets of the clouds just an hour or so later and then it got too hot for us to remain on the beach. Having nothing much else to do, we retired back to our room.

And that was when Jeff had the brightest yet dumbest idea of the whole entire trip yet. "Let's go swimming!" he said.

Hmm, let us assess the situation here:

1. Scorching hot sun at 12 noon. Check.
2. Forgotten to bring our sun tan lotion. Check
3. Swimming with almost no article of clothing on us. Check.
4. Recipe for a bad case of sunburn? You betcha!

In hindsight, not a good idea, at all. I still ask myself today, "What the hell's wrong with you Nat? What? Left your common sense at home? You know, the part of your brain that actually thinks?"

Bk, being the smarter one said he'd rather hole up in the room playing his guitar and laptop. So, I thought, "Ok, he's afraid of a little sun-burn. What pretty boy isn't, right?"

That was when he said, "Dowan get my hair in chlorine water. Mess up my beautiful hair nia!"

DOUBLE U. TEE. F

After our short swim and the sun-burn of the century, we finally had no choice but to pack up and check out.

We were not happy.



Alas and alack, all good things must come to an end and so must this wonderful trip of ours too. Then again, it was a memorable occasion for us all indeed. A parting memory for when we all head our separate ways, you could say.

Throughout this trip, I was reminded again why these two guys, despite all their bad habits and quirky behavior were my bestest of all best friends. We just clicked together, ever since we were toddlers in primary school.

We just can't help but feel happy around each other; we could talk, laugh and enjoy ourselves so effortlessly when in each other's company. Truly, I hope this bond between us three would last even after we've been apart for a long, long time.

Damai Puri, you had just offered me a whole new perspective of friendship.



*~* The End *~*

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Calm Before the Storm

It's almost 9 pm as I type this and I really really should be getting some sleep before heading off to the momentous occasion in my 18 year old life tomorrow morning.

That's right, the JPA interviews.

Oh. My. God. I'm super nervous and I know it's not all that formal and stuff but STILL, this is a really big deal to me.

This one pivotal moment of my life determines where I go and who I will be when I grow up.

So, here are the possible outcomes:

1. Go to interview. Breeze through it with flying colours. Get scholarship. Go abroad and graduate from my preferred course. Work for the government and earn big bucks. Get married and live happily ever after!

2. Go to interview. Did ok ok niaa. Didn't get the scholarship. Confined to study locally and graduate only to work a mediocre job and get stuck with this routine, average-joe life and die a contented man.

3. Go to interview. EPIC-FAILED at the interview (e.g. mistakenly flirt with one of the married lady interviewers) Get booted out of the interview. Get so devastated by the outcome. Proceed to watch 90210 and The Hills and Gossip Girls 24 hour straight before eyes bleed out and die........................But still got the scholarship in the end. Irony to the EXTREME

4. Wake up late and completely missed the friggin' interview. EPIC FAIL. Bo pien. Trash collector nowadays can make big money also, u know!!

So, there you have it. Personally, I want choice number 1, duh.

The last day of our Damai Puri Resort Memories will be posted up soon because I'm so friggin' busy nowadays, flying to and fro to KL for my US visa and all that shit (which includes late night Left 4 Dead games).

So.........wish me luck, yar! Hee =D