Thursday, July 30, 2009

Most. Tiring. Week. Ever

Author's Note: I knew I said that a post about life in college was to follow suite like, weeks ago when I was in college (which could be why daily readership has plunged so much), but I'm such a horrible liar and I epic-failed so badly to adhere to my promise. I know, it's one of those traits of mine which I need to seriously work on in college.

So, I'M SO, SO SORRY for the super late delay in updates. XD XD

Anyhoo........

After days-which soon turned to weeks-of patient wait, the blog post of which my readers are so eagerly expecting is here at last.

After much procrastination from yours truly coupled with several other lame excuses in which time did not permit moi to write meaningful blog posts, this blog is updated at last with a post that covers what is perhaps the most pivotal moment in a teenager's life.

College.

It's a journey mandatory to every teenager today; a pilgrimage for education, you may call it. It's a whole new chapter in our lives, far removed from the comforts of primary and secondary school life as we have known it for the past 18 years.

I touched down in Shah Alam with conflicted emotions. Part of me was reluctant to leave the life I once had in Kuching and another part of me was itching to greet head-on the challenges college life had in store.


I arrived at Kolej Cendana -the dormitories for us first year male students all the way out in Section 6- bright and early to report myself and be allocated an apartment unit. The place was jam-packed with students and parents wishing their final farewells to their children whom they might not see again for a long time.


Ties and long-collared T-shirts were the order of the day and safe to say, my sweat alone could fill buckets and replenish dried up oceans. Anyways, I met Ernest and William amongst the throng of people registering themselves according to their programs (ie: American Degree Foundation Program, A-Levels, Ausmat, to name a few)


One event led to another and lo and behold, William and I got the same apartment! (same program mar. Both of us were in the American program) We rejoiced at first and hurriedly clambered up the steps to our apartment unit (we got apartment 3/312) with our luggage and parents in tow.

Once inside, I let my eyes wander about and I thought the apartment was a rather decent place to live in. Albeit lacking the comforts of home, it was furnished with basic amenities like tables, beds, lockers and individual toilet and bathrooms. All in all, it was a pretty cosy and decent place to live in.

In the apartment was a common room, two bedrooms and the washroom (separated toilets and shower room). One bedroom could only be shared by 2 people and the other could comfortably accommodate 4.

Bedroom B: The larger of the two rooms

William and I took the smaller of the two bedrooms; the room had only two beds but was properly ventilated and shielded from the glare of the sun.

Bedroom A: A cozy place to bunker in and take a sojourn into la-la land
Bedroom A WITH William: Your worst nightmare come true. Think Michael Jackson. *shudders*

Soon, we got to unpacking and cleaning up our room. Then, tragedy struck! Oh, the HORROR! Apparently, one of the door locks malfunctioned, locking us and the rest of our roommates (whom arrived a wee bit later. More on them in another post. XD) inside.

The Curse of the Faulty Lock!! In cinemas near you this summer....

Having resolved the issue with much brute force, several kicks to the door and power tools, I had lunch and finally gathered the courage to bid my family goodbye. And so, that marked the beginning of a long, gruelsome week known to all as Orientation.

At the crack of dawn the next morning -having been woken up by the azan prayers- at 5.30, I got ready for the day ahead. We boarded the Intec UiTM bus and were soon whisked off to the Intec (abbreviation for International Education Centre; a subsidiary of UiTM to prepare overseas-bound students) UiTM campus in section 17.



Feel free to be envious of our college. Hur hur =P

Orientation can be summed up as follow, as the pictures below would give you an inkling of what to expect.

We had to sit through several long, sometimes unnecesarilly redundant speeches and briefings. Thank goodness the hall we were in was air-conditioned, chairs were provided and the droning speechs provided us guys with the perfect opportunity to cuci mata at all the gals that were there. Hur hur (What? A whole year in a guy's only dorm? It's bound to turn somebody GAY)

If that was not bad enough (the turning gay thing, I mean), a day's program can drag on to 11 at night or even later. By the time we arrive back in our dorms, it was already midnight and we have to drag our sleep-driven asses out of bed at 5 in the morning. So, excuse us if we're not all high-spirited to start the day.

Once, the Curse of the Faulty Lock kept us LOCKED out of our dorm until a good 2 o'clock in the morning! Oh, what joy!


However, interspersed amongst all those briefings and welcoming speeches were time slots in which we were split into groups and a facilitator would then be put in charge of the group and show us the ropes of college life (read: getting through college ALIVE).

Meet Cedric. He's probably one of the nicest, most helpful and easiest-to-bully facilitator that any junior could wish for. He also happens to be the facilitator of our group. Poor dude...

Meet Cedric. He's a guy. Did I also mention that he's a dude?

Cedric performed his job as our facilitator exceptionally well. He took us on a tour around the campus, acquainting us with several facilities we were going to be using often and pointing out to us where classes, cafeterias and administration offices were.


Apart from that, we also engaged in a lot of other activities like charades, group debates and presentations; courtesy of none other than our wacky facilitators of course. Sometimes, our groups were even joined together for one big game of The Mafia.

Please note the evil smirk on facilitator's face. If that's any foreshadowing of the lecturers we were gonna get.

But one activity which stood out so vividly in my memory was The Mafia game. That game was brutal, not in the sense of the word itself, rather in terms of psychology. A group member is appointed a mafia, unknown to the rest and he/she begins eliminating us off one by one until we find out the true identity of the mafia. Get it wrong, and you've got a dead innocent bystander in your hands.

Lol, good times, good times.

The Mafia. It could be any one of us. Beware.....

On the eve before the official closing ceremony that would mark the end of orientation week, the seniors had one final, diabolical plan up their sleeves. Each program (the A-Levels, Ausmat, and us American Degree Foundation Program; ADFP for short) were to present a performance for Performance Night.

Ironically, we were only given several hours to decide, rehearse and present our performance because Performance Night was on the same day itself!!! Gwahhh!!!

To make matters worse, I was elected as leader of my whole program *gasp*. So there I was, a shepherd to my herd of lost, little lambs. The honcho of my entire program, responsible for pulling out of our asses; a performance that would blow the crowd away.

OMGWTFBBQ! A hundred people under my command!!

But how can one -a gentlemen like me, no less- say no to these pleading and cute faces?

"Puh-weasee???"

Hence, I am left with no choice but to accept the burden shouldered upon me and forge valiantly onwards! I had big shoes to fill partially because the seniors set the bar high for last year's parody of "Romeo and Juliet". That, and also because we ADFP students were infamous for pulling out the craziest and wackiest shit we can think of out of thin air.

Instantly, I knew my sick, twisted and demented mind was immediately at home with the prospect of things. Surely, my mind would have no trouble cooking up a performance that fitted the bill.

Come performance night and the stage was set for a spectacle that none could ever best in a long, long time. And melt the audiences' brain into mush too, of course, out of sheer stupidity rather than the magnificence of the perfomance itself.


Alas, it was our turn to showcase our performance and thus, we graced the stage with Titanic with a very generous helping of Scary Movie. The end result? 10 minutes of pure, unadulterated butchering of the famed "I jump, you jump" line, cliches and plot devices from the movie about the greatest capsizing ship ever.

Meh. You get the picture.

Performances from the other programs soon followed and I must say, I was particularly impressed with the A-Levels rendition of Michael Jackson's "Thriller".

"You know it's thriller! Thriller night~~~"

When the night drew to a close, I was overwhelmed by euphoria and a sense of accomplishments. Luckily, I managed to live up to the seniors' expectations and more of whom I quote, "ADFP is in real good hands".

All good things must come to an end, and unfortunately, the end usually arrives too abruptly. and in this case, it was in the form of the orientation week's closing ceremony.

The seniors were a blast to hang out with and I've managed to learn a lot from them. To that, I owe them my gratitude and thanks for their taking the time to teach us the skills we needed to make it through college with flying colours.

One more thing, the seniors; especially those from the American Degree Foundation Program were somewhat like duplicates of me. Whenever I lay eyes on them, I could see a little bit of me within them. May it be my randomness, my inability to stop talking or my sense of perverted humor (hur hur), I finally found people that I could relate so well to.


I guess all the quirky traits -extroverts, randomness, open-mindedness and wackiness- that distinguish these students as those from the ADFP was the product of Americanisation that our program is so rife with.


Maybe, during the JPA interviews, the interviewers themselves had already pinpointed our distinct characteristics and mannerisms, that when further refined, could help us fit seamlessly into the American culture and life.


All in all, I'm thankful to the Lord for placing me in the very program in which people could relate to me and I to them. For the first time in a long time, I finally found comfort and security amongst my peers. Peers whom I do not need pretend as something I am not to get along with, peers whom do not require me to live my life under a false pretense so as to avoid conflicts and confrontations.


In a nutshell, (redundant line, I know) college life ROCKS!! So far, that is.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Culture Shock

This is by far, perhaps, the greatest epitome of culture shock ever.



And maybe we're all hakka supremacist deep down inside.

(Sorry for the lack of update but I promise a post about college life is in the works. And it should be published somewhere within a week/year maybe?)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mind Explosion! (Also an interlude)

I do humbly apologise for the lack of updates on this obsolescent blog of mine even though updates were due by last week. I really should admonish myself for cooking up such pretentious lies.

Hey, I'm no paragon alright? Compared to the erudite crowd that I hang out with here in college, even a savant like William is considered pedestrian here by college standards.

However, fear not my dear readers for this blog of mine is still paramount in my priorities. Sometimes, when I try to draft out a comprehensible post, the things that I type out is sometimes so saporific that I just can't help but to feel somnolent and take a little sojourn into la-la land.

Now now, I'm not going to embellish on the life here in college in my next blog post, I promise and I also promise not to exarcebate your already negative view on college life.

However, I must make it a point though that I've been branded a class clown ever since I got here and people find me a very affable and amenable person. Even several of my more hard-to-understand seniors have thought of so many appellations for me.

I shall conclude my interlude here for I really should get back to studying for my Pre-Calculus quiz tomorrow. Damn it, my attempts to do something intellectual and beneficial to me has been so abortive because of this stupid laptop. Till then, CHEERIO!

(If you find yourself dumb-founded by the presence of so many of these bombastic words, you should be! It's all part of a good student's lexicon should they wish to further their studies abroad to the United States.)

(So don't make a conjecture now about how mentally demanding college life is going to be for if you do now, you'll be deeply perturbed and your brainpower shall atrophy right before your very eyes which, to say the least, is going to be deleterious to those sitting for SPM this year!)

Off I go to perambulate around my quarters for a well-deserved breath of fresh air!

Toodles!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Happy Sorry Birthday lor...

Haiz. I'm not even sure why I'm doing this but I'm doing it anyway (even though every fibre of my being is screaming out to me, "DONTTTTTTT!!!")

Some may know this guy. Some may not. Either way, it doesn't matter.

Meet Jeffrey. The biggest kia-su loser in badminton since Lin Dan to grace the courts with his supposedly super awesome smashes, drops and what not.

Happy 18th Birthday, JEFF!!!!!!!

Sorry lor, ah pui that I forgot your birthday. You think it's easy to remember something so insignificant as your birthday (eheh, no la, just kidding nia) when all around me I have more urgent things to settle??

So, here's what I can at least do to make it up for you (and no, screw you. I'm not getting an original copy of Left 4 Dead 2 for you XD)

Haiz, kolien me abit la. To remember your birthday when my brain's memory storage system is all being overwritten by all these people's names and faces to remember.

Spot me~~~~~~


SORRY LOR........

Monday, July 13, 2009

Broadbanddddddddddd~~~~~~~~

Well, don't be expecting too much of this update. I'm hastily scribbling this post and making words up as I go along. William and the rest of my roomies who have fallen prey to his propaganda and mind-control aren't helping much either. More to come on the afore-mentioned statement. XD XD

Yep, you guessed it. The title of the post says it all.

I'm just here to announce the black magic that I practice to obtain Internet access in this god-forsaken place where Internet access is scarce.


Maxis, I LOVE YOU. For you, I shall drop to my knees and forever worship you and even perform auto-fellatio upon request for you are my SAVIOR!!

And now, to show to the whole world the vessel I use to channel the essence of my black magic. Fear me, for all humankind shall bow down to the awesomeness that is my Dell Studio 1555!!!!!


Uber L337 no? If you're not understanding this, get out of here you Luddite!!


I call her.....Delilah

That's about it for now. Do expect more updates soon perhaps during the weekends. College has really made me cut back on the time in which I can write longer, better-scripted and more meaningful blog posts.

Not to mention the weird noises that William (read: the dirty-minded bastard) makes when he's asleep. Oh dear Gawd, that guy is gonna be the end of me.

Till then, toodles!

Friday, July 3, 2009

College!!

Well, I'm finally here in college. Life's good, except for the Malay food here which I still need to get used to. XD XD

Ehem, I know, you're now all wondering, "Nat, how come u no study ar?? Still got time to go play computer and blogging again ar!!"

Well, I've just finished orientation week and I'm finally starting to settle down into college life and my new dormitory. With William as my roommate, things are gonna get a lot fun! But once I get my hands on my new laptop, all hell's gonna break loose.

Late night Left 4 dead, killing floor, Call of Duty and YES, even DOTA with all my roommates! Oh yes, Imma revolutinize my college room mates from DOTA nerds to Left 4 Dead pros!

As of now, please bear with me and this shitty update. I'm in a cyber cafe so far away from my dorms and computers here aren't of the best qualities yea?

So expect lots of pictures to be coming soon and also a faithful retelling of my entire college experience so far.

Till then, cheerio! XD XD

(Although, I really shouldn't be using british slangs cuz imma going to AMERICA!) XD XD

Wheeee~~~~~~~~~