Damai Puri Memoirs 2 (What Really Happened)

Apparently, Bryan Kho has done it once again! Oh, joy! The wonders of his deceitful mind.

This blog post of his has once again been manipulated and twisted by him to tell a story so preposterous that it cannot be true!

As a result, I present to you my take on the whole trip which tells nothing BUT the truth. Truthful or not, I shall let you readers decide on who upholds truth to the greatest of degrees.

Anyhoo.........

Day 2 of our fateful escapade to Damai Puri kicked off on a rather well note.


Jeff and Bk thought that it would be a romantic idea to wake up a 5 in the morning to watch the sunrise. Pshh, if I didn't know them any better, it was given thing that both those two would sleep their asses off in bed well past 10 am.

Sure enough, I was right again. Being the responsible one in the group, I had to crawl my ass out of bed at 7 am and almost resorted to KICK both their asses to get up for the breakfast buffet.

Once both of them were awake enough, we trudged off to Elements cafe for our daily morning breakfast buffet!


By the time we arrived at the cafe, it was already 8.30 and boy, was the place jam-packed with holiday go-ers. Then again, it was a complementary (free barrr) breakfast for 2 guests per room, so I kinda would have expected it to be crowded. After all, we ARE Malaysians mar. We just can't give up free stuff, no?


In fact, it was so crowded to the point where no one attended to us and we could just hop in, stuff our faces full, fart and run out within a matter of seconds without having to pay for the extra guest. Says Bk and Jeff of course. But, nay I said! We ended up paying and the two cheapskates weren't too happy about it.

So, after much hassle finding a nice proper seat to make our asses comfortable in amidst the clitter clatter of cutlery and silverware, the usual kopi-tiam conversations that filled the air, we finally charged for the buffet tables.

The variety of dishes offered in the buffet were pretty decent in a 4 star hotel and well worth the RM 46 that we paid for the extra guest. From nasi lemak to pastries and croissants, there was a moderately large variety of food to choose from.

Bad case of om-nom-nom-noms

Oh my goodness, I really ate and so did Jeffrey. As for Bk, the poor boy couldn't even stomach down his 2nd serving of food already. Really wasting the complementary breakfast nia. Shouldn't have brought him at all. No wonder why he got so perfect abs.

Service on the other hand was horrible by a 5 star hotel standards. Tables weren't cleaned fast enough, food wasn''t refilled as often and above all, no one was even offering to pour us tea and COFFEE! Plus, we didn't even have that mini tray where all the sachets of sugar and creamer were stored. Oh, the HORROR!!!!

Stuffing our stomachs so full that we could feed 10 African children, guilt kicked in and we decided to burn some food off at the so-called Activity Centre.

I wanted to go back to our room and give Soni the care she deserved but nooooo, Bk's vanity complex kicked in and said we should do some physical activity to preserve our.......his perfect figure. Right.....

Then, when I returned from cam-whoring around, I saw this:

Bk's idea of physical exercise

Again, being the sensible one, I finally decided to get those 2 nerds off their asses and really do some physical activity. So, I said, "Ping-pong, guys?" and they looked at me like I was some kinda retard.

Bashing both of them over the heads with the paddles, I finally persuaded the two to play a little bit of ping pong though in hindsight, going to the gym was a better workout.

A pro in action.......

.....like I said, action action nia

With the crazy sea breeze blowing our ping pong ball all over the place, there was no chance in hell we were going to get a good game going. So, after an hour or so of trying, we finally decided to just give up. Stupid wind. Messing with our balls nia.

And so, on with the cam-whoring to settle our testosterone-charged itchy camera finger triggers!!

By the time we were done, I again, being the responsible one decided that it was time for lunch. Starving ourselves to death was not in my travel itinerary. But starving Jeff and Bk to death was. Then again, no fun spending time in Damai alone. And soon, we were off on our merry way to the quaint, sea-side town of Buntal.

Several horribly sung-to radio songs and random headbangings later, we finally arrived at Buntal. Originally, we planned to dine at one of the biggest seafood restaurant in Buntal. However, arriving for lunch at only 3 o'clock (no thanks to those 2 down there XD XD), it was closed.

So, we had no choice but to just eat at another nearby restaurant, unhygienic as it was. The tauke was definitely amusing enough (think The Godfathers meet Ah Long Pvt. Limited XD)

We @r3 t3h \/ery hungr333zz.......

But damn.....the food was so mind-blowingly, orgasmicly delicious!! Who would have thought that a simple plate of fried rice like this:


Could explode in your mouth in such a colourful concoction of tastes that words fail to describe. Bk and I both had the fried rice and Jeff tried the fried mee. My goodness, the food was a taste of heaven at its best.

After committing one of the deadly sins; gluttony (which we won't mind commiting again 'cause the food was so damn good) we patted our satisfied stomachs and planned on where to head next.

In the end, we went to Santubong Resort to fool around and pretend as guests. As we arrived, lo and behold! The hotel was practically empty, as if we scared away all the guests. Well, Jeff probably did.

So quiet it was almost spooky

Having nothing much else to do there, we resorted to (sadly) another game of pool. Pulling off the disguise of hotel guests with success (yeah, I'm that good), we got our quarters and proceeded to knock some balls into holes with our very long sticks. Man, that sounded weird.

Jeff doing what he does best; hitting on cute, underaged girls XD

Winning several sets continuously, we headed back to the hotel for a good swim in the pool. Upon arriving, the pool was practically empty, save for the few ang mo tourists there.

Being the idiots we were.......well not really 'cause we applied the uber awesome physics concept of buoyant force into our game of underwater wrestling, we did some pretty awesome Brock Lesnar F-5s and John Cena F-Us while the life guards more or less cheered us on (or were they shoo-ing us out? Nah, who cares)

Bk's perfect abs in all its glory

Having returned to our room after the swim, we broke out all the unhealthy, cancer-causing junk food and were about to gobble them all up when Jeff had the the greatest but probably only bright idea the whole time we were here.

I estimate my life to be cut short by 5 years.....

Room service.


After much debating, we finally settled for the 2 best dishes we could afford.

Chicken Teriyaki and Beef Bolaignase Pasta.

Looks delicious, no?

For RM 50, the food wasn't all that bad but the main highlight of the course was the Chicken Teriyaki's garlic rice. Mmmmm, it was appetizing. But then again, compared to what we ate afterwards, RM 50 was still the best way to go for room service dinner.

After dinner, we headed out for a walk around the resort only to discover how deserted and empty it was. It was so weird in a very eerie yet mystical, magical way.

We once again visited Gecko bar for (no points in guessing here) yet another game of pool. God, you'd think we be sick of it by now, but you thought wrong. XD XD



Below is the better looking picture of us as compared to the shitty one Bk posted up on his blog where he was already half asleep and thinking of a certain somebody.


Once we've finished our game of pool, we took a stroll around the kiddies pool for several photo opportunities. Since nobody was out there on the swimming pool grounds, you know we were bound to do stupid things like this:

I quote Bk, "Suku people will stay suku forever."

But not me though. I actually ended up looking cool doing this.

Heavens bestowed upon me the gift to WALK on WATER or at least try to...

Jeff HATES garbage. Dunno why. Don't ask

All in all, it was yet another crazy night to end a very crazy day on. I love those 2 guys. Platonically. Though I doubt you'd even know what that means. XD

Damai Puri Memoirs (What Really Happened)

Okay, so Bryan Kho might have posted up his version of our escapades to Damai Puri, but rest assure that most of what he said were lies!

Pure blasphemy, I tell you! His lies make even politicians bow in shame.

So, in response to this post, I present to you my version 100% free of lies.

Here's how the whole trip went along as I recalled, since I am the only sensible one in that group of three. (Evidence: I got them back alive, right?)

Since it's probably the last time Jeff, Bk and I will be able to do something stupid together, I decided to organize a trip to Damai Puri as a memorable get-together before we all part ways.

Last Sunday, I hauled both of their asses over to my place before heading out to the Countryside Market and the Spring to get our 'rations' and Jeff's swimming goggles. (And a pair of swimming trunks if we knew how short his was. Now I have nightmares)

And........off we go!

The kissy face pic you saw on Bk's blog? His 'camwhore complex' desires kicking in.

This picture has Bryan Kho written all over it

We finally left Kuching at around 2 o'clock NOT because of my slow driving around town buying our stuff. But because of a little inconvenience at home involving a printer and stupid pendrive. Screw technology.

Trust Bk to put the blame on me, every damn time. XD

The journey there was quite uneventful save for the random headbanging to techno music and bad karaoke singing to the radio.

As a result, Bk suffered severe emotional and mental trauma. Poor boy.

I'm in a happy place.......think purple dinosaurs and cute, fluffy bunnies =D

Finally arrived at Damai Puri formerly known as Damai Lagoon at 3 pm. Jeff's weight and Bk's big bag of make-up didn't help the car go uphill any faster though.

Damai Pureeeeeeeeee~~~~~

First thing that shot across my mind upon arrival was, "Holy shit, there's a lot of people here!" Then again, it was no surprise. It was a public holiday on Monday after all. So, that meant a 3 day weekend to spend at Damai Puri which most people did. XD

After like half an hour of queing up and waiting, I finally managed to check us in while Bk and Jeff sat around like the lazy pigs they were, letting me do all the work. Sigh. XD XD

The two lazy pigs doing what they do best....

Jeff's just there to flirt with them gals...like the pervert he is. XD

Upon settling our room deposits and what not, we were finally showed to our room. Unfortunately for us, I did the bookings rather late because of the clashing schedules and because of that, we wound up in a room at the far edge of the resort. Go figure.

Trudging our sorry asses over to the room....Good workout though XD

Finally, we arrived at a quaint, cozy little door that was Room 1103. That was gonna be our crib for the next two days.

The room itself wasn't all that bad. It was clean, cozy with a soothing ambiance although it could have come with a bath tub and lots more decorations. The bathroom was rather sparse but usable.

The RM 600 we paid for was a wee bit too much tho

In addition, the seaside view room we booked didn't quite look over the cerulean waters of the South China Sea though. Instead, it was a freakin' waterless waterfall that we faced. Bummer.

Fear not, for I have come prepared! I decided to bring Soni along cause she can always cheer guys up without fail. So what if she's old? She's still my Soni right?

Soni has inferiority complex all 'cause of Soni PS3

But on the bright side, we had a friggin' 32 inch LCD telly just begging for us to play it. If you know what I mean. Hehe.

Size does matter. If you know what I mean.

After countless hours of toying around and figuring out how to work the telly, I finally discovered the hidden AV/TV input to plug my PS2 into. No thanks to those two of course. Especially Bk, who takes all the credit for himself.

Up and operational...at last! Joy~~

So, after fooling around the room a little bit, we decided that it was cool enough to take a dip in the swimming pool.


Wrong decision. After changing into our swimming trunks, I had to wash my eyes out with bleach and grate my eyes with cheese graters when I saw Jeff's swimming uhh....thong? Oh boy, cannot sleep for nights to come, sure wan.

Sad to say, Bk was further traumatized by the sight and it took two strippers and a whole bottle load of 'happy' pills to cheer him up. Thanks, Jeff.

After swimming with imaginary dolphins, hitting on cute foreigners, and baring our perfect bods for the whole world to see, our stomachs decided that it was dinner time.

So, we headed back to our rooms after a good swim to feast on our measly ta pau dinner whilst Jeff waited eagerly for the All England badminton match. Pshhh, you'd think he supported Malaysia but noooo, it had to be China instead. So the patriotic hor.....

Jeff claims his lucky swimming thong to be Lin Dan's success

Rather than sit around waiting for Chong Wei to lose, (what? It's a fact liaw la) Bk and I decided that we rather celebrate Malaysia's loss by taking a walk around the resort and cam whore for the heck of it.

Ooo. Pwetty.

Pwetty lights....

Having finally scared the spirits from the nearby forests with all our flash photography, we wandered around a bit more before stumbling across this small, little bar.

Like the responsible, under-aged adult I was, I headed in and saw a pool table. Whee! We paid the RM3 for a game, and showed off our mad pool skillzz as well as our epic-failness in trying to be a pai kia.

And so, after a long day of fun-filled madness, we could feel the exhaustion of it all finally take a toll on us. So, we retired to our rooms for a good night's rest.

Thank goodness I wore extra layers of underwear for added protection. There's been a bad case of sleepmolesting running rampant around lately. Especially when the three of us had to squeeze onto one bed. XD

Of Vampires and Werewolves

Well, it's official.

Beyond all odds and questioning my sexuality and sanity in the process, I've finally finished reading the entire Twilight saga.


My take on the whole vampire/werewolves/human gal love saga, "So the damn complicated ar!"

Perhaps I haven't ventured much into the love scene but I can tell you this, having 2 boyfriends ain't gonna turn your life into a bed of roses. Throw vampires and werewolves into the mix, and woohoo! You're officially insane!

But I was digressing because we don't live in a world like Twilight, no? If we did, we'd fall head over heels over the first vampire that'll suck you dry. Om nom nom nom nom nom. And werewolves would be the official mascot of Canada.

XD XD

So guys, intrigued by what Twilight has to offer but afraid of picking up a copy for fear of being labelled a homosexual or effiminate?

Perhaps this illustration will sum things up.

Yeah, didn't think so......

Lazy-citis

Blurgh. I got so friggin lazy over the holidays to the point I can't even update my blog anymore. Sob, sob, i'm so sad. NOT.

Anyhoo, with results coming out on 12 March (some say lar), 3 whole months of carefree living and getting so bored I even watch NEWS everyday, it's going to come to an end.

And after that date, it'll be the crossroads for us all. Not too sure where life will take me, but hopefully God will lead me on through this uncertain phase of every teenager's life.

Till then, I'm gonna stuff my head full of current world issues cuz it's so boring at home. XD XD

God bless everyone and may you all obtain your desired results for your SPM.