Damai Puri Memoirs 2 (What Really Happened)

Apparently, Bryan Kho has done it once again! Oh, joy! The wonders of his deceitful mind.

This blog post of his has once again been manipulated and twisted by him to tell a story so preposterous that it cannot be true!

As a result, I present to you my take on the whole trip which tells nothing BUT the truth. Truthful or not, I shall let you readers decide on who upholds truth to the greatest of degrees.

Anyhoo.........

Day 2 of our fateful escapade to Damai Puri kicked off on a rather well note.


Jeff and Bk thought that it would be a romantic idea to wake up a 5 in the morning to watch the sunrise. Pshh, if I didn't know them any better, it was given thing that both those two would sleep their asses off in bed well past 10 am.

Sure enough, I was right again. Being the responsible one in the group, I had to crawl my ass out of bed at 7 am and almost resorted to KICK both their asses to get up for the breakfast buffet.

Once both of them were awake enough, we trudged off to Elements cafe for our daily morning breakfast buffet!


By the time we arrived at the cafe, it was already 8.30 and boy, was the place jam-packed with holiday go-ers. Then again, it was a complementary (free barrr) breakfast for 2 guests per room, so I kinda would have expected it to be crowded. After all, we ARE Malaysians mar. We just can't give up free stuff, no?


In fact, it was so crowded to the point where no one attended to us and we could just hop in, stuff our faces full, fart and run out within a matter of seconds without having to pay for the extra guest. Says Bk and Jeff of course. But, nay I said! We ended up paying and the two cheapskates weren't too happy about it.

So, after much hassle finding a nice proper seat to make our asses comfortable in amidst the clitter clatter of cutlery and silverware, the usual kopi-tiam conversations that filled the air, we finally charged for the buffet tables.

The variety of dishes offered in the buffet were pretty decent in a 4 star hotel and well worth the RM 46 that we paid for the extra guest. From nasi lemak to pastries and croissants, there was a moderately large variety of food to choose from.

Bad case of om-nom-nom-noms

Oh my goodness, I really ate and so did Jeffrey. As for Bk, the poor boy couldn't even stomach down his 2nd serving of food already. Really wasting the complementary breakfast nia. Shouldn't have brought him at all. No wonder why he got so perfect abs.

Service on the other hand was horrible by a 5 star hotel standards. Tables weren't cleaned fast enough, food wasn''t refilled as often and above all, no one was even offering to pour us tea and COFFEE! Plus, we didn't even have that mini tray where all the sachets of sugar and creamer were stored. Oh, the HORROR!!!!

Stuffing our stomachs so full that we could feed 10 African children, guilt kicked in and we decided to burn some food off at the so-called Activity Centre.

I wanted to go back to our room and give Soni the care she deserved but nooooo, Bk's vanity complex kicked in and said we should do some physical activity to preserve our.......his perfect figure. Right.....

Then, when I returned from cam-whoring around, I saw this:

Bk's idea of physical exercise

Again, being the sensible one, I finally decided to get those 2 nerds off their asses and really do some physical activity. So, I said, "Ping-pong, guys?" and they looked at me like I was some kinda retard.

Bashing both of them over the heads with the paddles, I finally persuaded the two to play a little bit of ping pong though in hindsight, going to the gym was a better workout.

A pro in action.......

.....like I said, action action nia

With the crazy sea breeze blowing our ping pong ball all over the place, there was no chance in hell we were going to get a good game going. So, after an hour or so of trying, we finally decided to just give up. Stupid wind. Messing with our balls nia.

And so, on with the cam-whoring to settle our testosterone-charged itchy camera finger triggers!!

By the time we were done, I again, being the responsible one decided that it was time for lunch. Starving ourselves to death was not in my travel itinerary. But starving Jeff and Bk to death was. Then again, no fun spending time in Damai alone. And soon, we were off on our merry way to the quaint, sea-side town of Buntal.

Several horribly sung-to radio songs and random headbangings later, we finally arrived at Buntal. Originally, we planned to dine at one of the biggest seafood restaurant in Buntal. However, arriving for lunch at only 3 o'clock (no thanks to those 2 down there XD XD), it was closed.

So, we had no choice but to just eat at another nearby restaurant, unhygienic as it was. The tauke was definitely amusing enough (think The Godfathers meet Ah Long Pvt. Limited XD)

We @r3 t3h \/ery hungr333zz.......

But damn.....the food was so mind-blowingly, orgasmicly delicious!! Who would have thought that a simple plate of fried rice like this:


Could explode in your mouth in such a colourful concoction of tastes that words fail to describe. Bk and I both had the fried rice and Jeff tried the fried mee. My goodness, the food was a taste of heaven at its best.

After committing one of the deadly sins; gluttony (which we won't mind commiting again 'cause the food was so damn good) we patted our satisfied stomachs and planned on where to head next.

In the end, we went to Santubong Resort to fool around and pretend as guests. As we arrived, lo and behold! The hotel was practically empty, as if we scared away all the guests. Well, Jeff probably did.

So quiet it was almost spooky

Having nothing much else to do there, we resorted to (sadly) another game of pool. Pulling off the disguise of hotel guests with success (yeah, I'm that good), we got our quarters and proceeded to knock some balls into holes with our very long sticks. Man, that sounded weird.

Jeff doing what he does best; hitting on cute, underaged girls XD

Winning several sets continuously, we headed back to the hotel for a good swim in the pool. Upon arriving, the pool was practically empty, save for the few ang mo tourists there.

Being the idiots we were.......well not really 'cause we applied the uber awesome physics concept of buoyant force into our game of underwater wrestling, we did some pretty awesome Brock Lesnar F-5s and John Cena F-Us while the life guards more or less cheered us on (or were they shoo-ing us out? Nah, who cares)

Bk's perfect abs in all its glory

Having returned to our room after the swim, we broke out all the unhealthy, cancer-causing junk food and were about to gobble them all up when Jeff had the the greatest but probably only bright idea the whole time we were here.

I estimate my life to be cut short by 5 years.....

Room service.


After much debating, we finally settled for the 2 best dishes we could afford.

Chicken Teriyaki and Beef Bolaignase Pasta.

Looks delicious, no?

For RM 50, the food wasn't all that bad but the main highlight of the course was the Chicken Teriyaki's garlic rice. Mmmmm, it was appetizing. But then again, compared to what we ate afterwards, RM 50 was still the best way to go for room service dinner.

After dinner, we headed out for a walk around the resort only to discover how deserted and empty it was. It was so weird in a very eerie yet mystical, magical way.

We once again visited Gecko bar for (no points in guessing here) yet another game of pool. God, you'd think we be sick of it by now, but you thought wrong. XD XD



Below is the better looking picture of us as compared to the shitty one Bk posted up on his blog where he was already half asleep and thinking of a certain somebody.


Once we've finished our game of pool, we took a stroll around the kiddies pool for several photo opportunities. Since nobody was out there on the swimming pool grounds, you know we were bound to do stupid things like this:

I quote Bk, "Suku people will stay suku forever."

But not me though. I actually ended up looking cool doing this.

Heavens bestowed upon me the gift to WALK on WATER or at least try to...

Jeff HATES garbage. Dunno why. Don't ask

All in all, it was yet another crazy night to end a very crazy day on. I love those 2 guys. Platonically. Though I doubt you'd even know what that means. XD