Reality Check

The reality of the situation has really dawned on me. Till now, I was excited and enthusiastic about heading to college, to start life anew away from the ever watchful eyes of my parents.

In hindsight, those were just shallow fantasies; shallow and immature at the same time. Perhaps it was just a front I put up to quell the feeling of uneasiness within me. Day after day, I put on a smile on my face, lying to everyone, even myself that was SO ready for college life.

Truth is, I'm not. This, being my final day in Kuching; a place in which most of my 18 year old life has centered so much on, I realize at last the gravity of the whole college ordeal.

I'm scared. I don't think I'm ready yet to take that plunge. Not knowing what to expect once I step foot into Shah Alam and then to America; the great beyond, is kinda nerve-wracking.

I've been experiencing and living basically the same routine that I have for the past 18 years, under the never-relenting gaze of my parents. Back here in Kuching, I have a home to come back to, loving parents that I can turn to in times of need, a social circle of close friends in which I've shared so many good times with.

However, in Shah Alam, I've no idea what to expect. I'll have to fend for myself, take care of myself when I fall ill and I have to expect myself to study at the same time amidst all these chores.

True, nobody is ever actually ready to take that plunge. Growing up in a community in which there are many familiar faces makes it tough for one to part with it. But it's a life-changing decision we all have to make one day. A decision that will be for the better.

Suitcases are packed and ready. Vital paperwork and documents have all been sorted out. All that's left for me to do is to just take a deep breath and take a leap of faith into the abyss of uncertainties.

Hopefully, I'll find my way out. And I pray to God for his guidance, to bless me with the strength, courage and wisdom as a beacon of light so that I may make my way through the darkness of life and emerge a victorious.

Thank you, dear Lord God for this wonderful opportunity of a life-time.

College! Here I come!